Soldiers Home St. Louis Mo Dec 3 1862
 My Dearest Mary. You will be surprised to find that I am in St. Louis. You will not be so much surprised as I am disappointed: My mind is reeling with conflicting emotions. I am so disappointed but your curiosity is becoming excited. & I must explain. Col Dewey is dead. he was taken sick one week ago yesterday & died on Sunday. Typhoid fever & erysipelas. his remains started for Iowa on Monday morning. Just as it was starting & our Co. with all the others Were about falling into line to escort it out a short distance when I was detailed as one of eight as an escort "to Des Moines". I was taken on surprise. but O how my heart bounded with delight I ran & got my knapsack & blankets gun &c, on the way that same evening there was an order overtook us for all but three to return from Pilot Knob. The Young Deweys requested that I be allowed to go with them. The rest consented so there were three of us came on here & went aboard a steamer for Keokuk with the Col. & his effects - Charley Dewey went to General Curtis Head quarters to secure our transportation to Des Moines & back -  He refused, Said it would cost our government too much!! I can't forgive him, I was so happy. I am now -- well not miserable but I feel so badly - I had already anticipated such a good time. I could almost see your eyes sparkle.. I was going to take you on surprise - I was almost walking the streets, greeting my friends. I intended to take "Mary & hurry out to Fathers" O! I was to have such a good time! - "But there is many a slip between the cup & the lip"! The boys felt verry badly over it & it really seems too bad that the Government could not afford three as an escort to Our brave Old Col. But I must cheer up it is not soldierly to complain & I do not wish to lower myself in your estimation & I know that you could not love me if you thought I lacked manhood or the qualities requisite in a soldier. I am in a lively crowd. There are about twenty men & boys here. with their papers. regular discharges.. They are talking over Old times & then about home. They are happy
